Doula mania!

After reading up on birthing options, about two months ago I decided I wanted to look into hiring a doula for the labor and birth. Birth doulas (which are different from post-partum doulas) are (inevitably well meaning) women that are there to help you mentally and physically prepare for labor and birth, and also to be there from start to finish to help you survive/endure/(enjoy?) the birth experience. The medical profession recently has come out strongly supporting the use of birth doulas, which is very cool.

Matt and I really like the idea of having an experienced hand on deck for the whole time. Nurses come and go with shift changes, OBs flit in and out until something goes wrong, but a good doula is like a combo of your best buddy, coach, and personal slave for the whole time. That sounds so reassuring to me, and it takes a lot of the pressure off Matt.

So, once we made this decision, the search was on. The only doula I knew at the start is a brand-new mom turned doula-do-gooder. I'm not opposed to this in concept, but I personally wanted someone with lots of experience. Like, maybe 10 years? Or at least 20-30 births? That would be good. I don't want to be a "never seen THAT happen." I want to be, "I've seen this, what you need to try is..."

I tried the internet for doula certification organizations, and basically failed at that tactic. Darnit! So then I smartly asked my OB, who told me to ask the Birth Center, who emailed me a list of recommended doulas that they enjoy working with. Here is a synopsis of some of the more interesting phone interviews;

Doula #1- Highly informative. Very friendly. Massage therapist. Good on the phone. Having a baby in February and would be bringing the infant to my birth. Hmm... that is OK, I guess, and considering a first birth can easily take over 24 hours, I do understand where she is coming from with that- what with feedings and such. But is that what I want? What if the baby is crying a lot while I'm trying to concentrate? Been a doula since 2003, which is a pretty decent amount of time. Kinda hippy-esque, but not too much.

Doula #2- Direct entry (lay) midwife = bonus! Very nice on the phone. Been attending births for over 20 years. I liked this one right off the bat. Very matter-of-fact and yet reassuring at the same time. We set up a coffee shop meeting.

Doula #3- This was what I came to call the "boot camp" doula. She was kinda scary on the phone, to be honest. Been attending births for 32 years. Interrupted me mid-sentence several times. I was intrigued, and kinda intimidated, and then she insisted we set up a meeting (Matt, me, and her) to talk. If nothing else, it sounded quite educational to meet with her, so I agreed to it.

Doula #4- Wow. The other end of the spectrum was completely represented by #4. Just shy of suggesting I rub crystals where the sun don't shine, this one was very, very "left of center." I barely got a word in for 40 minutes as she expounded on the beauty of birth, and how her and her friend teach a holistic birthing class together, and how birth is so great, and empowering, and... yeah. I stayed on the phone mostly because she amused the heck out of me. And because I could not get a word in edgewise to end the conversation.

Doula #5- Another massage therapist. Lots of good ideas, but only has been a doula for two years. I was hesitant mostly because of the lack of experience- the rest of this woman's phone interview went really nicely. In my head, she was the back-up if #s 2 and 3 bombed their in-person interviews. She seemed quite reasonable.

The in-person interviews were far less entertaining than the phone interviews, mostly because I weeded out the hippies before proceeding. Boot-camp doula ended up being softer around the edges in person, but still really set in her opinions and a little over the top. The best was when she talked about her diet- no wheat, soy, corn, rice or dairy products. Wow! She proudly mentioned that after she started on this diet, she lost 35 pounds last year. I can't say that surprises me. Doula #2 ended up being even more fabulous in person than she was on the phone- she was a lovely person to talk to, we related to each other very nicely, and she clearly is what I was looking for. I really enjoyed her company.

And the winner is... a woman from New York named Kathee.

Ahhhhh.

Kathee is officially on board now. Our first meeting as an expectant couple + doula grouping is next week at a local bakery. She's bringing more books! So exciting.